How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is on the market for pre-order! Here!

An precise e book that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, for those who desire my dulcet tones, hearken to together with your ears. You’ve cherished my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by means of my farcical tales of woe (keep in mind once I virtually by chance penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the best way again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to develop into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You might name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about by chance occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by means of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Sporting Knickers? No it will not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set prior to now, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this e book. Let’s not get the unsuitable finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it acquired to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a experience by means of a decade of the inconceivable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and ceaselessly ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. After all there are. Actually I used to be particularly instructed, once I acquired the e book deal, that I needed to embody the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or virtually falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the troublesome bits in addition to all the elements that can probably have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However largely this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods during which I did not develop into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular potential to draw chaos and catastrophe in virtually any state of affairs.

You possibly can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure guess that you just’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so for those who solely ever click on on one hyperlink I submit then please make it this one. I’ll be ceaselessly in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the e book and concerning the technique of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been the most effective, most satisfying factor I’ve ever executed in my grownup life. In case you’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really joyful accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.

*hopefully

**as correct as doable. Largely correct. Considerably correct.

***I used to be pressured to supply this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it delicate and fashionable.

****truthfully, the variety of folks I needed to sleep with.